this beer tastes like vomit already
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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