like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
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Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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