Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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