Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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