I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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