there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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