My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
it hurts more in the daytime
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize