i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
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Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
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