when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I looked at my own cervix.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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