...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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