I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize