How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She's the barista slut.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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