please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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