my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My vagina just recognized that song.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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