3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
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I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
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In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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