So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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