I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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