But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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