I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize