All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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