the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize