i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize