So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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