yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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