Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize