i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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