i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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