apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
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He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
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there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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