My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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