some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
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you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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