Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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