whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize