Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize