I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think I died a long time ago.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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