Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
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I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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