So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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