Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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