Ambien. No doubt about it.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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