Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize