So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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