know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize