We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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