is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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