we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize