I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I could make wine with my vomit
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize