There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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