I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize