are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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