Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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