idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
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Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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