if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She announced her abortion via fbk
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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